


1D War Horses

by OnefortheroadNarry



Category: One Direction
Genre: F/M, Lighthorse, M/M, WW1, WorldWar1, warfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 22:52:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16334771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnefortheroadNarry/pseuds/OnefortheroadNarry
Summary: It’s a 1915 AU





	1. Chapter 1

January 19, 1915

"Sally! Stop fluffing up that pony and ride those cattle in!" My father yelled at me as I was brushing the knots out of Crackerjacks mane. He was a Shetland pony we bred on the farm from the old stallion dad found one day, sturdy as a rock and never put a foot wrong, except I was the only one who could catch the bugger.

I jumped on Crackerjack and galloped after my brothers on their stock horses so we could bring the cows in, we had to bring the lot to keep them close, there were a lot of drifters stealing people's stock and we couldn't afford to loose any. Mum and dad had 12 kids to support I was the 3rd oldest, and one of only two girls, my younger sister was learning all the house jobs but dad can't spare me for that work. He needs the help on the farm and I'm more than happy to comply. I don't wear dresses except on Sunday and I have never learnt to sew or cook, but I have learnt to ride, and move herds and butcher a cow or roo, an best of all I learnt how to be like a boy. Which didn't seem very important or even condoned but it was something that would change my future forever, I just didn't know it yet.

"Sal, what are ya doing riding that poor pony for.!" My brother jack called out as he guided his horse behind some drifting cows. The boys had done the hard work bringing them in, I just had to help with the last drive to the back paddock which meant opening three gates and blending into the cattle, without scattering them, as they passed the gates so I could shut them again. 

"He doesn't mind, leave her alone Jack." Louis called out. Both my older brothers we very good riders, my younger though, not so much. Jesse tried and he honestly wanted to do well but he just lacked the balance. He was riding my horse, the big grey mare was 17hh and extremely fat, we fed her next to nothing but she just kept getting bigger. He had to practice riding her because he had signed up to join the 10th Light Horse with our older brothers and go to war. It wasn't his first choice but dad refused to let him go if he wasn't going with his brothers. They were assigned different companies but they were at least going to the same place. 

We finished driving the cattle and Jesse cantered up on Transit, "I'm dead tired Sal, dad wants us fit for the Light horse but I just can't keep up." He sighed.

"I wish I could go instead. Transit and me would have so much fun travelling the world together." I told him.

"Yeah, me too, you'd do so much better than me. You'd probably enjoy it so much more too." He said. 

"Do you think they'd notice if I went in your place?" I asked.

"Umm Sally, you're a girl, of course they'd notice."

"Yeah but if I bandaged myself up, I already talk like you guys, and I have a deeper voice than you anyway, you're only 16 too, I'm at least the right age."

Jesse looked away for a second, thinking, he was smart, he'd be able to work out a way to swap places.

"Do you really want to?" He asked, "It won't be all fun and games, people die over there, all the Randolph brothers are dead but one." 

"I know, I don't care, Transit and I will be ok, she'll look after me." I said as if it was already planned.

"We leave in two days, if you can pass off as me then lets do it, I'll sign up as a foot soldier, we'll just say we're twins." We look about the same and I'm the same size as you." 

"We just have to keep it from Louis, Jack won't care but you know how Louis is, he won't let it happen." I told him. Louis was very protective of me, whenever I got into a fight at school he was always jumping in, only to then scold me afterwards for not being lady like. If I ever fell it was Louis who was riding up as fast as he could to check I was ok. You couldn't really blame him, there was another girl before me. But she died, Rosy was riding along the granite cliff at the south end of the station and her horse slipped and she plummeted down 20 feet onto rock, Louis blamed himself because he had ridden too fast past her. Jack saw it all though and said Louis wasn't even close and it was all just bad timing. Louis would never even let me ride anywhere near that cliff, I took Crackerjack there one day and told him after and he yelled at me and then wouldn't talk to me for a week. I don't even try to go there any more. 

.........

We were sitting around the dinner table, mum had cooked up some damper and we found a bee hive on the way home so we had honey too. 

"Only one more sleep before you boys head off to Fremantle then the next day you ship out." Dad said. The boys nodded, I just kept my head down. "Have you got everything packed? We'll take the horses to the blacksmith tomorrow morning, first thing." 

"I'm still not happy you let Jesse lie about his age, you know the women at church keep talking." My mother said as she nursed the youngest child, the last one dad hopes. So do it, mum never sees the hard work dad puts in to support everyone, all his mates are easing off and letting their oldest run the farms but he still has to work to keep up with the demand of 12 mouths to feed. 

"He'll have Louis and Jack to watch him, won't you boy." Dad said looking at me and Jesse as if he knows, or maybe that's just in my head. Jesse nods and continues eating.

..........

"I'll take Transit in dad, I won't get to ride her again otherwise, will I?" I said to dad as he helped me mount my huge mare. I will have to work out a way of getting on without any help before we ride in Egypt. I always got a leg up for on of the boys or stood on a rock. Transit jumped about a bit while waiting for dad, Louis and Jack to mount up, Jesse jumped on Transits bum behind me. For a boy who lacked balance he had a lot of agility and could leap onto any horse he wanted, he just had trouble staying on. I gave her a pat and let Jesse wrap his arms around my waist, he needed all the help he could get to stay on when we galloped off. 

"Easy does it Sally,or he's going to fall off." Louis warned and walked past us to stay ahead so I wouldn't rush off. I listened to him until we hit the sand track and then we took off, Jesse held on tight and I pushed Transit into a gallop, Louis gelding jumped to the side and I saw him shaking his head as we passed him. We kept the gallop up until we came to the river just before the trail into town, Transit was hardly puffing. 

"That was fun." Jesse said as he let go of my waist. Dad, Louis and Jack were all still a fair way back because they had the packs. We were not going back home today, we would just wait in town for the train to take us to Freo. 

"Are you still ready for today?" Jesse asked me.

"Yeah, all your kit fit right." I told him, "and Transit is keen, I didn't want to have to say goodbye to her today, it was going to hurt just as much as saying goodbye to you guys."

"Gee, thanks, I'll keep that in mind when We leave each other tomorrow." 

"You know what I mean." I laughed. 

"Are you scared?" He asked.

"Yeah, but not about the war, I'm scared they will find out, you know, that I am a girl, I just hope I don't fill out at all."

"I doubt it, you are nothing like Chrissy, she is only 10 and she already has breasts. Louis said you were always meant to be a boy."

"Whatever." I said, feeling a bit self conscious, I choose to ignore his tactlessness. 

Louis, Jack and dad walk up along side us and Transit fidgets again, she is not a quiet war horse, she is full on and will struggle to stand still in the ranks I think. Jesse would never be able to keep her still. 

"Come on you two, Only 10 miles to go." Jack grumbled, he seemed a bit off today, he was normally full ball and cheeky.

We rode in the rest of the way and made it into town just as the blacksmith was opening shop. He waved us in and our horses were shod, normally dad or Jack would do it but dad said it was too important for them to do it. He wanted us to have the best chance of returning. This was partly why he also made sure the boys had our horses, we knew they were reliable and safe. We all had very strong bonds with our horse, even Transit and Jesse did, not like I did with Transit but he still knew he could trust the horse with anything. 

We spent the day getting supplies for home, dad bought us all a big serve of stew at the pub and said not to tell mum, little did he know I wouldn't be able to tell mum for a long time.

I told him I was going to meet up with a Mary for the parade today which he didn't want to go to, I wasn't sure how I would let him know I was gone, I might tell him I'm going to go as a nurse's assistant. I knew a fair bit about stitching animals up if they cut themselves. Mums chickens were attacked by a fox and I was able to save the all. 

"Dad, I want to go too," I told him when we were sitting at the pub, everyone turned to look at me with very different expressions. Dad looked like he was considering it, Louis was looking scared between dad and myself, Jesse looked at me like I was crazy giving up our plan, and Jack just looked...sad.

"You can't be considering it Dad." Louis rambled. "You are already loosing three of us, you need the help at home and she is our sister, she could die."

"What would you do?" Dad asked. Louis looked even more upset. 

"I'd help the nurses, maybe learn to be one." I told him. Jesse relaxed was he realised what I was doing.

"I suppose your brothers are old enough to start working on the farm properly. You three are so good I haven't needed them yet." Dad said.

"But you can't, you could die." Louis said, he looked at me with his puppy dog eyes and I felt terrible. If he know what I really planned he'd be outraged.

"I'll be away from all the war, I just want to help in some way." I said, rather convincingly.

"If you are allowed to sign up then yes, you can go." Dad said and continued with his meal.

I couldn't help but grin, the hardest part was over. 

Jesse had signed himself up at the foot soldier rally and had his new uniform which meant I just needed to hide his old one in the bushes and I'd quickly change into it after Dad left.

.......

It worked, so far. We all said bye to dad, and I left the boys to join the "nurses rank", once I changed I quickly rejoined the boys waiting by the rail, the horses were already loaded and they were about to let everyone on. I tapped Jesse on the shoulder and he quickly turned around and left to join the foot soldiers ranks. 

I watched Louis and Jack enter a carriage and waited until the next one was being loaded before I stepped forward.

"Name?" The man asked.

"Hewson, Jesse." I told him. He scanned the papers and crossed Jesse's name off. I breathed a sigh of relief and climbed up onto the train. I saw there was no seating, just boys sitting around the edge. I made my way over to a boy who looked completely unfamiliar. I sat down and kept my head down despite my excitement. 

"HaHa! Here we go boys!!!", A young lad yelled when he entered the carriage and all the other lads yelled out too. 

The boys all stood up and started waving out the carriage, I got up too and joined them, I couldn't help but smile at everyone waving and laugh with the other boys. 

I was going to war, just a girl and her horse!

~~~~~~~~

A/N

So here is the start of my war fiction.


	2. Training

February 6, 1915

Transit and I are going okay. I say ok because she is doing really well and behaving herself perfectly but I am no where near as strong as the boys. We do better than most of the guys in the ridden training but I've been the one that always needs help on the obstacle course. 

"Are you planning on waiting for the war to come to you Hewson?" The sarge yelled at me as I tried to climb the wall.

"Here, give me your hand." I looked up and saw Liam's hand reaching out to mine. He pulled me up easily, I only weighed about 50 kilos so it wouldn't be that hard.

"Thanks." I said and kept running, that was one thing I didn't struggle with.

"You know he won't stop picking on you until you proved to him you deserve to be here." Liam said as he caught up to me. Liam had been helping me out the past two weeks on the obstacle course. He was beautiful, and if I was at home, being a girl I would never have spoken to him, but I learnt I had to get around my fear of talking to the boys like one of the guys, they didn't know I was a girl.

"I'm half the size of that wall Liam, if he let me ride over it then I'd have no problem." I grumbled. 

"Well why don't you." Liam said giving me a cheeky grin. 

"What? I jump it on Transit?" I asked.

"Yeah, why not, that man is hopeless at jumping, and the main requirement of the messenger rider is to be able to jump anything, you know you can jump better than anyone else in this regiment, except maybe your brother."

"He's already declined my request to be a messenger. What makes you think he'll accept it if I jump the wall." I told him. 

"A little bird told me something about Major Witcroft visiting this afternoon, scouting for some messenger riders." Liam smirked. He knew everything, I swear the boy could get the plans of attack off the Turks themselves if he wanted.

"Hmm." I nodded and jumped the hurdles at the end of the obstacle course. 

We both leaned our hands on our thighs and caught our breath. 

"Hewson, Payne, new track record, that is the sort of time you lads need to be able to outrun yourselves some Turks."

Sargent Reegan barked out. "Now go, tack up and prepare for mounting."

Liam and I joined the other lads and headed to the stables, we had brought our horses in for a feed earlier today so they were all ready and waiting. I had been practicing getting on Transit throughout the last fortnight and I prayed I didn't screw up today with the Major watching. I had attached a leather strap under the saddle skirt so I could mount her without lowering the stirrup. I had to tuck it away real fast once I was up so no one saw. It was actually how Liam and I became friends, he mounts up beside me and saw me tuck it back as I got on. I knew he saw and begged him not to tell anyone later on during the trek we went on. He guaranteed me he had no intention of telling anyone if I would make one for his friend, Niall. Niall was possibly the only other recruit who was as short as me. He also had a big horse, a waler gelding who fidgets more than Transit and he couldn't mount without his foot slipping out. 

I sorted him out a strap and he couldn't stop thanking me. Niall was awesome fun but he also kept too much of an eye on me and I had to keep my distance, I didn't want him to notice too much. 

When we led the horses to the mounting area I spotted the Major, he was looking our way, hopefully at Transit, she was the ideal messenger horse. I don't know exactly when I decided I wanted to be a messenger rider, maybe because the horses were better looked after, it was a more dangerous job sometimes but it was also off the front. I was able to steer clear of Louis and Jack most of the time, when they did march past once I just pretended to bounce around onTransit a bit and lost my stirrup on purpose. Liam gave me a strange look but never said anything. He knew I was a good rider and didn't usually miss a beat. 

We all stood to attention in front of the officers and mounted when told, I got on smoothly and tucked the strap up before I was even seated, I had gotten a lot stronger than I though even possible, the training was building me up al lot. One officer gave us our instructions and separated us all into groups according to our abilities. Louis and Jack were about 200 riders to my left. I just had to hope they weren't looking when I jumped 'the wall'. 

"Any rider wishing to re-apply or apply for a position on the messenger riders squad please walk your horse forward and proceed to the cross country course to await your orders." The Major barked out.

I walked my Transit forward and followed the 20 other riders also applying, they were all on similarly built horses to mine. But mine was the only grey, just my luck, Hopefully Louis couldn't see it was Transit. She had darkened out since we arrived, I think the feed they gave had more protein than the meadow hay she was usually on. 

When we arrived at the ground we each got a uniform and tack check. When the Sargent in charge reached me I held my breath hoping the strap didn't fall down. The Major was not here yet at least.

"Dismount" the sarge said. I did as I was told and stood by Transit at attention.

"How do you get on this horse, she's huge even for a normal sized lad." He asked quietly.

I stood stock still,"like everyone else sir." I replied.

"Show me." He said. And I signed.

I tried to do it as neatly as possible, but failed, I ended up pulling too hard on Transits saddle and she shifted around under me as I got on. She then threw her head around and kicked out to make things worse.

"Now show me what you did when you got on in the lineup." He said. And I gulped, if he was cruel he could get me sent home. 

I got off and slipped the strap down and mounted easily without pulling on the mare, she stood stock still.

"Good, much better, now if you can ride, just don't show that off until you are in Egypt." He said and smiled up at me. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. 

"Okay, riders, you have 5minutes to get around the course doing the highest jumps only and not breaking the gallop." The Sargent said. "Any rider who completes the course in the time and without fault will be in the pickings for being a messenger rider. You and your horse will then be assessed by the Major."

The Sarge called out names one at a time, I was last, the Major had started making his way over to the four riders who had made it through the course without faults, I knew I could do the time, it was hard for most but not Transit, the jumps were easy but I knew I would be judged unfairly, our Sargent hated me and he was always whispering in the Majors ear. I knew the only way to get his attention was to jump the wall, if I pushed Transit hard we could get up and over the wall and down to the lineup in under 5 minutes. I clicked her on and we rode strait for 'the wall' I knew the Major was watching, but I had blocked everyone else out. The wall was over 2 and a half meters high and had a smaller wall in front, but it didn't stop my Transit, she cleared 'the wall" like it was something we had practiced every day. When I made it to the lineup I saw the whole regiment was cheering and hooting. I couldn't help but smile, until I saw two faces staring at me like I had just grown a flower out of my nose. Louis and Jake, they knew Jesse would never ride a jump like that. 

I put my head down low and nodded "yes sir" at the questions asked about Transit by the Major, is she under 10, does she travel well, can she manage long distances without feed? Then he asked if I was willing to leave tonight and I looked up immediately and grinned at him, "yes, yes sir." 

"Good, you're in, I want the two of you to report to me at 1800 hours, ready to leave with the 10th, they have an early ship out." 

That also meant that Louis and Jake would be shipping out too, which was fine, so long as they kept their mouths shut, I also had Liam and Niall. 

When I made it back to the bunks the room erupted in cheers and stomping, 

"That was awesome man!" "You should have seen the Sarge's face, it was blazing!" "How did you even think of doing that?" The boys couldn't contain themselves, I felt a few slaps to the back and ruffling of my short cut hair. 

Cutting my hair was the hardest part of becoming a boy, I had such long blonde hair that all the girls at school wanted and all the boys admired, but I had to chop it off like Jesse had it. 

"Yo, Jesse, we're hitting the showers, you coming." Liam called, he was standing with a towel over his shoulder alongside 5 other guys. 

"Er, yeah I'm gonna pack first." I told him and he shrugged and walked off. The look Niall gave me from his bunk by the door did not go unnoticed by me, once the bunks were over I quickly packed my bandages and clothes in my trunk when I hear a coin drop to the floor. Niall.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He said. I just nodded and sat back down on my bed.

"Why don't you ever shower with the others." He asked. I looked up at him, my heart beating fast. 

"I...I..um, I don't like to, you know." I stuttered.

"You know even though you're small you probably aren't as small downstairs as some of the other guys. If that what you're worried about." He said carefully.

"Umm, that's not an issue, trust me." I told him. 

"Oh, ok, I just thought..." Niall said. 

"You thought wrong, okay." I said probably a bit harsh but I didn't need him getting into my business.

Niall then walked out the dorm leaving me on my own. But not for long.

"You little shit!" Louis' voice hit me like a wave of fury, Jake followed close behind. "What were you thinking, that I wouldn't notice it was you and not Jesse, that I would just ignore it. Where is he? And why are you here?"

I just stood back and let him yell.

"Say something!" He said.

"I didn't want him to take Transit, I wanted to ride her and I'm better than any rider here except maybe you." I told him.

"But you're a girl!" He said and I clamped my hand over his mouth.

"Shhh, you can't go yelling that out!" I told him. 

"He's right though, you can't ship out tomorrow." Jack said. I glared at him.

"I can and I will, I'm a messenger rider now, you know that is safer, I'm not on the front line and I can ride fast and low." I reasoned.

Louis sighed and pulled me in for a hug.

"Sally, I'm just scared for you, you are my little sister, I don't want to see you die, I can't watch that again." Louis' voice cracked and I hugged him back. 

"Sally?" Came a voice from behind Jack who had a hand on Louis' shoulder.

We all spun around to see Niall standing in the door.

"You're a girl?" He said. I looked at him in shock, trying to work out what to say. Eventually I gave up. 

"I, um, yeah." I said weakly.

"I knew something was up with you." He said.

"Niall, please don't tell anyone, I just want a chance." I pleaded with him. Not that he looked like her was all that concerned. 

"Um yeah of course, it's not like it effects me." He said calmly. "Just um, maybe let Liam know yeah? He's,umm, really good with secretes and he'd help you out." 

"Oh, Um, maybe, I don't think I need help, if it wasn't for this idiot you wouldn't have guessed." I said nudging Louis who let me go.

"We have to get going, we're shipping out tonight you know." Jack said and tugged Louis out the bunk house. Louis didn't look happy about any of it, I could see the pain on his face.

It was just me and Niall in the room now.

He wouldn't take his eyes off me. "What are you staring at?" I asked him. 

"You, I never would have guessed by looks but it's your attitude that gave it away, you don't act girly but you snap way too easily to be a boy." He said.

"Whatever, don't get all cocky because you know." I told him and indicated he had to turn around, I had to change into my ship clothes.

"I'm gay." He said out of nowhere.

"Um, right." I said.

"I just thought it only fair you know my secret." He explained.

"Thanks, I guess." I said with uncertainty.


	3. Shipping Out

March 1, 1915

The boat was not all that bad for the first few days, other than the retching, once everyone got their sea legs even that wasn't so bad. It was the smell that got me, the horse manure below leached up and mingled with the foul smell of vomit, salt and sweat. We didn't have to work hard but it was hot and there were no showers. I was thankful for that initially but eventually wanted so badly to swim in the ocean like the other boys did every couple of days when the ship would stop to let everyone have a swim. I told Liam and anyone else who asked that I couldn't swim. Niall and Liam would bring me a bucket of water to wash with but that didn't really help when I was in a cramped dorm with 60 male recruits. I tried to clean off but I was getting pretty smelly, Liam even commented on it.

"God man, you really need to think about having a good wash, change your clothes and I'll take them in the sea to wash them at least." He said. I blushed and said I had to find my brothers and I'd give him my clothes later. He looked at me oddly but shrugged and continued to talk to Niall and his cousin. 

I found Louis with some of his new friends who were from Denmark, a town down south. "What's up Sa-Jesse!" He called when he saw me approaching. I glared at him but sat beside him. "Nothing, just thought I'd come by, I needed to ask a favour too." 

"What is that smell, were you working in the stables?" he asked pinching his nose. His friend had buggered off somewhere to leave Louis and I.

"No! I can't swim you idiot, so I can't wash can I?" I replied cranking, I was sick of people saying I smelt, I couldn't do anything about it. 

"Alright, alright, what do you mean you can't swim? You can swim to the bottom of the big dam at home." He said.

I just stared at him waiting for something to click, he could be so dam dumb sometimes. 

"Oh, wait I get you, what if you just went in with your clothes on?"

"Yeah cos no one would suspect a thing." I grumbled to him.

"They wouldn't if I pushed you." He said. 

So that is where the plan for getting me cleaned began, oddly enough ending in my first kiss. Louis set it up that I would sit on the railing on the ship, ready for him to shove me over. Which would have been fine if we had considered the weight of my uniform. Louis and Jake came up behind me secretly as I talked to Liam and Niall who had just returned from their swim and were sitting in their trunks beside me. 

"What if we went in with you? You would just hold on to us, then you'd be fine." Liam reasoned. I shook my head, looking into the water longingly. I could not wait to be pushed over and drop the 30 feet into the sea. 

That was when Louis pushed me, not banking on me having fast reflexes which led me to grab a hold of Liam and Niall and bring them down with me. It's my reflexes which saved my life. 

We yelled out as we fell and I tried hard not to scream. When I hit the water the cold hit me like a wave and I relaxed into it,Then I realised I couldn't swim up to the surface. I saw Niall and Liam paddle up but the most I could do was stop myself from sinking further. Panic set in and I screamed into the water. My arms beginning to slow and the last thing I saw was Liam grab my shirt. I had blacked out.

"Jesus, come on! Breathe!" I heard Louis cry as I threw up the water in my lungs. He was crying, I could hear it. He thought he had killed me. I chocked on something and rolled over to vomit the seawater I had inhaled. I gasped for breath and rolled over onto me back again. When I regained my orientation I saw Liam wiping his mouth above me and Louis hugging me tight. 

"God, you scared me!" He said, "What the hell was that, why didn't you swim."

"I couldn't, It was too heavy, I was stuck." I told him in breathes. 

"I thought you said you couldn't swim?" Liam said looking confused.

"I umm, can't." I said. I looked at Niall asking for help but it was Louis who did.

"He can, but we only swim in dams at home, he was scared so I thought if I pushed him he would realise it's not that different and be fine, I forgot how heavy this kit is when it's wet. I'm an idiot." Louis said, he was feeling terrible.

"Thank God for you and that breathing trick Liam." Niall said.

"Where did you learn that breathing trick anyway? I was about to hit you  when I first saw you kissing he- him." Louis said, Niall cringed. Kissing me! Liam was kissing me! 

"It's just something my dad said to do if someone stops breathing, he used to work on a fishing boat." Liam said.

I felt faint and I don't know if it was from the drowning or the fact Liam had kissed me alive. The boys helped me up and left Niall to take me back to the bunks. Louis wanted to know more about the breathing trick as he put it, anything to do with saving lives, Louis was going to study to be a doctor when he got home, he just needed to get the money to leave the farm first. 

"Liam kissed me!" I whispered to Niall excitedly.

"Come off it, he breathed into you, don't get all girly on me!" Niall said looking a little pissed off. 

I decided to tease him about it.

"Oh are you jealous Niall, you want him to kiss you, don't you." I thought I was being funny but Niall disagreed and pinned me to the wall in the corridor we were walking in.

"Shut up! Don't ever say that shit again!" He growled and stormed off away from me. I didn't bother following him, I needed to get changed and he was in no mood for jokes or even talking by the sounds of it.

It wasn't until later in the mess hut he came to sit next to me that he apologised for his outburst. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have growled at you, you didn't know." He said. So he does like Liam, but Liam might not like that idea. 

"I'm sorry too, I'll keep my thoughts to myself from now onwards." I told him and he sighed and we started to eat. I was a bit sharp with him but I hate being blamed for something I didn't know about.

Louis came to sit with us as he tagged along behind Liam. 

"How are you feeling now Jesse?" Liam asked.

"I'm fine, I don't smell so bad though so now I am feeling a little annoyed I don't have the space I used to when the lads avoided me." The boys all laughed but it was true, I liked my space. 

"It does make eating around you a more pleasant experience." Niall chimed in.

We continued our days on the boat with very little change to routine. Louis managed to get me a couple of extra uniforms and I started sneaking out at night to the stables to wash a bit and sit with Transit. She was not looking great, none of the horses were. They saw very little daylight and were fed minimally to reduce the ships load. I snuck apples and carrots from my plate to her. She appreciated it. I was also loosing weigh but I was keeping my muscle. Working on the ship was hard work. At least when we landed Transit would have a lighter fitter rider. I had actually chucked out my bandages, my chest had flattened so much they seemed unnecessary, Liam and Louis had pecks bigger than my breast.


	4. Chapter 4

I March 18, 1915

We landed in Gallipoli , an awful place to land, but it was where we were needed. Transit is skinny, just like all the other horses. They will need some filling up before we start to work them again. Louis is getting more and more nervousness the closer we get to going out, not for himself but for me. He keeps telling Liam and Niall they can't let anything happen to me. Niall knows why but Liam just looks at him like he is crazy.  
"Louis, I can take care of myself, I'm the best rider in the entire regiment except for you." I told him.  
"Not to be cocky or anything." Niall stated dryly.  
"Just because you can ride doesn't mean they can't shoot you." Louis retorted.  
"No but they'd have to find me first." I growled getting irritated.  
"He has a point, they would be aiming for a needle on a freight train." Liam chuckled to himself. I glared at him. I was not ever happy with my lack of curves as a girl but to be seen as thin even for a boy was just disgraceful.   
Louis huffed, he couldn't get Liam to understand his problem and it drove him mad. Louis was forever thinking everything was his fault, he should have done this or that to prevent a bad thing happening. Like with our sister who fell down the cliff. Or pushing me into the ocean. He stormed off, no doubt to vent his frustrations to an ever patient Jake. 

"Why is he so protective of you, are you the youngest or something?" Liam asked.  
"No, third oldest of twelve actually but I am the closest to him I guess." I explained.  
"And the fact you shouldn't be here." Niall blurted out, his face suddenly shocked when he realised what he said. We had had a few issues since we found out we both fancied Liam. I was considering telling Liam and asked Niall what he thought and his reply was cold and angry. He said I couldn't tell him, it wouldn't be fair on him, knowing there is a girl around when there is a war going on. I think it was maybe for a different reason though, they say the nights get lonely during a war and with limited companions, strait men will sometimes couple with men. Niall was one man who would not consider this a downgrade from women.   
"What do you mean?" Asked Liam.  
"He means I lied about my age. I'm only 16." I lied quickly, perhaps too quickly because Liam looked at me skeptically.   
"So, doesn't mean you shouldn't be here, Niall is only 17 too." He said eventually. I breathed a sigh of relief, dodged that bullet, maybe If I could dodge every one like that I'll end up home in one piece. 

\---------------------

It was past dusk and I was walking back from the stables when I heard Liam and Niall's hushed whispers coming from inside our shared tent.   
"Tell me what it is you know that I don't, I know something is up with Jesse, why won't you tell me." Liam whispered to Niall.   
"I can't, it's not for me to tell." He said, or not in his interests to tell.  
"Fine, don't tell me, it's not like I don't already have my suspicions." Liam said and the tent flap shot open. I was standing right in his way out. It was obvious I had heard. Liam looked as though his mind was running over several options of go as he stared at me. Eventually he settled on the one I was least hoping for.  
"So? What is it you're hiding from me?" He asked as Niall popped his head through. I pushed past them both and grabbed my ruck sack and left. I couldn't tell him and I didn't want to be around Niall anyway. I found Louis' tent and crept into his bed beside him, he had received the rank of Corporal after sitting a few academic tests on arrival so he fortunately had a tent of his own. When he realised it was me he pulled me close and kissed my head. The scariest thing for me having to let my brothers leave would have been to know I'd never have been able to climb into my big brothers bed again. I know I'm 18 and should be bedding my own man soon but there is a comfort unlike any other in   
the embrace of a brothers arms. 

The next morning Liam and Niall came to sit beside me as I ate my breakfast alone. I was not very good at keeping friends it appeared. Liam and Niall were all I had. Niall ignored me but Liam gave me a slap on the back as he sat.   
"Where did you go last night?" He asked.  
"To my brothers tent." I told him.  
"He didn't mind?" He asked.  
"No." I said.  
"You didn't have to."   
"I know, but I didn't have to stay with you either." I remarked. Niall laughed.  
"How can you not tell, when that sort of thing comes out?" Niall asked Liam and I glared at him?  
"What that he is a bratty 16 year old with an attitude problem?" Liam said grumpily.  
"She...she is a bratty 16year old with an attitude prob-." Niall said before I jumped on him and punched him in the face. Liam pulled me off before I could do any real damage to him. I was raging though, how could he!   
"Jesse, stop, I already knew, I knew okay? He just wanted it out in the open, ok?" Liam said trying to calm me down. I ripped my arms from his grip and stormed off. Bratty! Attitude problem! Hardly! They are acting like the church girls on Saturday, knowing they will have a clean slate on Monday. I looked back to see Niall nursing a black eye and bloody nose, I had gotten him good. The guilt hit me, then resolve. I decided rather quickly it would do me no good to leave them and I went back to Niall, offering him my handkerchief and sat down beside him, wrapping my arms around my legs. Liam was still fussing over Niall, trying to stem the bleeding.   
"I'm sorry I hit you." I said.  
"Mm sowwy I dold Im." Niall replied.  
"I'm sorry I know, really I am." Liam joked. We didn't laugh.  
"You can't tell anyone, I can't go back." I said grumpily.  
"I won't, I promise." He said.

"How did you even get enlisted?" Liam asked when we were in the safety of our watch post for the night. Away from prying ears.   
"My brother is Jesse, we look alike, I'm a little bigger but I'm also two years older." I told him.  
"Why would you want to join the light horse though? What's wrong with the nurses corp?" He asked.  
"I ride, and Transit is my horse, I couldn't just let Jesse take her, he can't ride and he didn't even want to anyway, he's a foot solder under out deaf cousins name," I explained. I found out Jesse had to give another false name or they would question how he was in two regiments at once.  
"So do you not worry that this can be a bit of a dangerous place for a girl?" He asked.  
I stared, questioning him.  
"Well you are surrounded by men, who have no other girls to choose from." He said.  
"You are the only one who knows that is not related or other way inclined." I told him, "so no, I'm not, and I'm tough enough to fight anyone off should I need to."  
"Yeah of course." He nodded, "Are you excited to start your runs?"  
"Yeah, I am itching to go, Transit won't be ready though so they are giving me an army Horse, an Arab, they thought it was too small for anyone but it'll be fine for me. How about you?"  
"I'm keen, I'm worried for Niall though, he seems a bit off." He pondered.  
"Yeah, he's not happy with me." I told him.  
"With you? Why?" Liam asked softly.  
"It's nothing, he just doesn't like me." I said, dodging around the question. Liam hummed.  
"He will get over it once I'm gone, I'm pretty sure of that." I explained.  
"It probably doesn't help that you punched him in the face." Liam laughed.  
"Mmm." I said and felt sleep taking me.  
\-------------------------------------------


	5. First Run

I thought When I got my first run I'd be getting away from all the drama surrounding Liam and Niall. Our new Sargent's orders proved otherwise. I have my first run coming up in a few minutes, they just received a rider saying they needed backup in Beersheba. I am to go and inform them of the companies they are sending and then bring back a report of casualties so they can tell families back home. Liam, Louis and Jakes companies are riding out in two weeks once their horses are back in shape, I'll get Transit when I return. My issue lies in the fact Niall got assigned rider guard for me and the little Arab I'm riding. His face physically sunk when we heard the orders.   
"Let's go." Niall barked as he rode up to me, I had my message, map and orders. I glanced at Louis one last time before I mounted and let the Arab run, she was a flighty pony so it didn't take much to get her in a gallop and if Niall asked I could say the tears are from the sand in my eyes. I wasn't scared, I just didn't want to hurt Louis, he looked terrified of me leaving. Niall's horse was small like mine so it kept up fine, the sarge reasoned he had to keep the two of us together for fast runs.   
One we made it to the jungle fringe I slowed to a walk to check we were heading in at the correct point, I could see the tracks but I wanted to make sure they were our tracks and not the enemies. We were told to follow the tracks until we reached about half way because we had the first half secured but after that the territory was not flagged. We had the last riders course drawn on the map.   
"Jesse, are you ok?" Niall asked, sounding far more caring that he ever had in the last few weeks. I had stopped crying but the dirt showed the dried lines along my face.   
"I'm fine." I replied shortly. He wasn't about to win me over with a few sincere words.   
"Okay." He said, I looked up when his voice cracked. He was pale and looked terrified.   
"Fuck. Niall, are you okay?" I asked. He nodded.  
"Just scared, yeah. And I'm meant to be protecting you, I think if I came back without you I'd just ride into the enemy lines, would be less terrifying than the wrath of Louis." Niall admitted. I chuckled quietly.   
"We'll be fine." I said and we trotted off into the jungle, it was beautiful and galloping through it made it even more amazing. We only had to slow down when we reached the half way flags. That's when things got real. I pulled up and dismounted, there was a small pond where the horses could get a drink. They were still relatively fresh and didn't need too much. We silently remounted and started the nerve racking gallop through no mans land in the jungle. The silence wasn't a problem for Niall and I, we generally didn't talk much anyway. It was the listening which was hard, we could hear the front line ahead. It wasn't that which made hearing so difficult though, my heart was pounding into my ears. It actually took Niall yelling at me to duck and go for me to realise we were being shot at directly. Thankfully whoever it was had terrible aim. I lost sight of Niall, I could only hear his horse behind me, as he shot back. I admired his ability to ride a galloping horse and still shoot at someone. His aim was impeccable, four shots and he had our hunters down or at least silenced, I wasn't going to go and check.   
"Fuck!" Niall muttered suddenly when we had made our way around a cliff face and river. He was looking down at his stomach. A dark brown had stained his clothes.   
I jumped off my mount and slung the reins over a tree, the horse quickly stuck it's head down to eat.   
"Your hurt!" I whispered, as though if I spoke too loud it might hurt him.   
"It's not that bad, just bandage it, it's just through the skin and out again," Niall groaned,"but feck! It hurts."  
I did as he said, he was right, it wasn't deadly but it was still bleeding a lot. I pulled out a needle and thread too, he had a long way to ride still and wouldn't be able to do it with so much blood loss.   
"Oi! No, you can't sew me up like a dog, it will be fine!" Niall cried when he saw me turn around.  
"Don't be dumb, you'll loose too much blood, I've done it before." I reassured him, I wasn't about to tell him I had only done this on animals.   
"No! I'm fine!" Niall insisted and backed away looking at the needle in my hand.  
"Are you afraid, of a little needle?" I teased.  
"No,, I just, don't need it." He tried to convince me.   
"Just don't watch ok? You need to have it stitched, and we need to go in 10minutes once the horses are rested." I explained sympathetically. I took his arm and pushed him down to lie on the grass. I sat on my knees and peeled his shirt back again, the cut was neat so once I puts some wound powder on the stitching job was easy, Niall winced a bit but to his credit he didn't move. I started bandaging him up, wrapping the bandage behind him so it supported his torso.   
"Never would have thought I'd be getting a hug from you." He joked. I just huffed and finished the bandage off with a knot.   
"Why would I not be one to give you a hug?" I asked after a while, I mean, we were friends before he huffed off about Liam knowing I was a girl and all that.   
"Umm, we don't exactly get on, do we?" Niall said slowly, unsure if he was asking me or stating it.  
"Oh, okay." I said and got up packing my things away. I didn't realise he didn't even like me as a friend at all. I mounted my horse without looking at him but when I turned around I realised he couldn't get on and was staring helplessly at me. I couldn't keep the hurt off my face and he saw.  
"Jesse, I'm sorry, I didn't think you even liked me at all." He said as I got off to help him on.   
"Whatever." I said as I legged him up, possibly a little rougher than I intended. He groaned and gasped as he sat up.   
Thankfully he dropped the subject as we rode on. The only other incident we had was a plane dropping bombs near by causing my horse to bolt and then fall over its own feet, throwing itself and me to the floor. Niall grabbed it before it could take off luckily. We were not having an easy first run, not that I thought the job was a cruse in the park but this was proving tough.   
"Ten fucking years!" I growled at the horse as I got back up.  
"What? What about ten years?" Niall asked.  
"Since I fell off, stupid horse, Transit would never be so clumsy." I grumbled and pushed the horse into the last gallop leg.


	6. Waiting

It has been three days since we arrived on the front and it doesn't look like I'll be returning with Niall, he has pulled a fever from his wound and they are sending him back in a troupe tonight. He is hallucinating so he doesn't really know what is happening. I have another message to take and because of the delay I am riding the same horse back, a new horse and rider will accompany me. After seeing Niall's skill handling both a horse and weapon I am a little worried about the capabilities of this new guard rider when he doesn't even manage to mount without almost falling off the other side. He gives me a sheepish grin and I just frown and look away.   
"You can ride, can't you?" I asked seriously.  
"Umm yeah, I just, it was...never mind." He sighed. "I can ride just fine."   
"Good."   
I set off at a quick pace, I figured I'd push the horse as hard as I could for the first, most dangerous, part and then take it real easy for the last stretch as this message was not as important as the last. The soldier on Niall's horse kept up fine, he looked ridiculous on the small mount. His legs hung down by the little horses legs and he was so tall above it he had to duck under so many trees Niall had not even noticed. We didn't speak until we reached the river I had stitched Niall up at, we were about 4km further south than before to protect us from the enemy learning our route. I got off and let the mare breathe, she was puffing heavily but drank the warm river water and nibbled at the grass. I watched as Harry did the same, patting his horse and giving it a sugar cube from his pocket. He then came and sat by me while the horses rested for 10 minutes.   
"I'm sorry to hear about your friend." He said as he sat. I stared at him.   
"We weren't friends." I said.  
"Oh, ok." He said and fiddled with a stick. "Do you not like friends or something?"  
"What?"  
"You just seem a bit...cold." He said.  
"No I don't, I just want to get back alive and I had a good guard before but now I have you." I barked.  
"You don't even know me." He replied calmly, "you don't know my name, or how much I've ridden in this war. You just assumed from the start I'm not good enough to guard you but excuse me lad, you aren't the most precious thing on this earth."   
I sat staring at him in shock. He was right. I was being a dick.   
"Sorry." I stammered, "umm, what is your name?"   
"Harry, and I was in the first British Horse Army shipment 6 months ago but my horse was killed and I asked to have a break from riding until they could get me another mount sent from home." He paused.   
"Me and my dad breed Thoroughbreds. I struggled when I was getting on because I've never ridden something so small." Harry said waving at Niall's horse.   
"Oh," I said weakly, "I'm Jesse. I came here on my sisters horse but she wasn't ready for my first run, neither was Niall's horse so we got these two."   
Harry nodded.   
"You would like my horse, she is huge. Not a blue blooded thoroughbred but she is a strong farm horse."  
"I look forward to meeting her." He smiled and got up, we needed to mount up again and head off.   
I lead again and gave the last route a good birth, we didn't want to run into any more guns.   
We did manage to find a camp though, and it was just my luck we didn't even know we were in it until a soldier yelled out in Turkish when my horse ripped through his bracken shelter and must have stood on him.   
I bolted and hoped Harry would follow. We tore through the camp but I couldn't see where it ended. Shots were being fired but nothing reached us, our horses were starting to recognise the shelters and rather than crash through they jumped them which made sure we had less soldiers wake up and shoot at us. Finally something to go our way. however I relaxed too quickly. Suddenly there was no horse below me and I was flying through the air and face planing it into the dirt. My instant reaction was to curl up into a ball so the horse wouldn't run over me if it got up, however no hooves came my way. I slowly sat up and saw Harry moving wildly at me as he counter fired from beside me while still astride. It was then that I realised I couldn't hear. He was yelling but It sounded like I was underwater. When I still didn't move he dismounted and raced over to pull me up. I let him shove me over to the slightly disorientated mare and throw me aboard. I couldn't think of what to do next. If it wasn't for my body to naturally ride forward I don't think I'd still be on. My head was spinning and I still couldn't hear but the branches being blown off trees told me we were still I the firing line.  
When was got far enough away for them to stop firing we were close to the flags so I kept up the gallop for another couple of Kilometres. When Harry pulled his horse up I sat back and waited for mine to slow. Any effort seemed too much right now. I lay forward over the mares wither and saw Harry dismount and walk over. Worry was written all over his face. I read his lips as he asked if I was ok and I nodded. The trek back to camp felt like it would be impossible though.


	7. Return to camp

Two weeks after the return to camp.

 

I have no recollection of how we made it back to camp. All I know is I owe Harry my life. 3 broken ribs, a deadly gash on my lower thigh and a concussion could have seen me dead if he hadn't got me back to camp. Louis couldn't stop thanking him. I was just thankful my chest was small enough for the nurses not to question my sex. I hadn't gotten round to it but was released from the medical tent this morning and decided to go find Harry. I walked slowly out, thanking the morning nurse and taking my personal effects from the tub at the end of my bed.   
"Look after yourself, sweetie!", the nurse said. I nodded and left.   
Harry and Liam had become fast friends after Harry was placed in our tent because Niall and I were both in the medical hut. It was easy to find them both by the fire near our shared tent.   
"There 'e is!" Harry said as I approached. Liam turned and winked giving me an embarrassing blush.   
"How are you feeling?" Liam asked, shuffling over so I could sit between them.   
"Hmm, fine, a bit sore, can't ride for two weeks at least. Nor can Niall, so apparently we have to run a few special recon ops next week....they need...small people for it." I told them.   
"Shit, you look heaps better though mate, you had us worried," Harry said, " Especially your brother, practically smothered me when they told him I carried you back."   
"Yeah, he's a bit...protective... thanks though, not sure I would have made it back otherwise." I told him.   
"Any time, mate. It's not like you're a heavy weight," he laughed. I rolled my eyes. We sat in silence for a while, enjoying the warmth of the fire. Then Liam dropped a bit of a bomb.   
"We have a night off tonight," Liam said, "Nurses too, you, er, don't mind if we keep the tent for, um, you know?"   
Harry gave him a questioning look then turned to me, "He means fucking, keep the tent free for hooking up, whoever has a girl, gets the tent."   
I chocked on my own spit.   
"Fuck, um yes, sure, whatever," I tried to reply casually. I couldn't look either boy in the eye though. At least I could hang out with Niall, he wasn't about to go play with the nurses.  
"You okay man?" Harry asked, "You know some of the nurses really like the little guys."   
"Yeah I'm fine, I'm 'right thanks." I replied dumbly with a bit too much bite in it.  
Harry nodded but the look he gave Liam didn't go unnoticed by me. He was suspicious, fortunately I don't think he really knew what to think though.    
"Where is Niall?" I asked Liam.   
"Showers, he'll be back soon", he replied.   
I hadn't seen Niall since he was in the medical tent with me, they had medivaced him back to camp on the truck which took two days to reach the camp. By then the antibiotics had kicked in and he was released a few days after I woke. He still hadn't spoken to me much. Maybe tonight we could sort out our differences as Liam fucked a pretty girl in our tent I thought ruefully.   
"Hey guys, missed me?" Niall said and sat himself down beside Harry.   
"Always Nialler,"Liam laughed.   
"Tell me you're coming to the mess hut tonight?" Harry said, throwing an arm around the small blonde.   
"Er, not sure... it's a bit embarrassing, you know, being surrounded by the  nurses that helped me use the bedpan for a week, maybe next time." Niall covered.   
"Right, so I guess at least you and Jesse can keep each other company tonight then." Harry said. Niall looked up confused until it appeared to dawn on him that I wouldn't be interested in the nurses either.   
"Great, fun times ahead then," he grumbled. I'm not going to lie. His sarcasm hurt. Liam was about to speak up when I stood up and stormed off. I needed a shower anyway and it was usually empty around now.   
I grabbed a change of uniform, soap and towel from the tent and headed to the wash hut. I filled a bucket with the Luke warm water and went inside. No one was in one of the quads so I pulled the hessian curtain and filled the shower bladder. I stripped down to my under pants and soaped up, I needed the medical smell off. I finally felt I could relax and let my anger at Niall wash away. 

That was until Harry walked in. Tall, handsome, shirtless Harry. I didn't notice him until he started filling the shower bladder beside mine. I quickly covered my chest and swore.   
"Hey," he said casually as I turned away, he laughed a little.   
"What are you laughing at?!" I grumbled, still facing away. I could hear him stripping down though.   
"You, covering yourself man, it's not like we don't have the same gear." He said, so so unaware, "it's not like you have anything to hide, you're fit man."  
That's when I turned around.   
"Really?," I asked, crossing my arms across my chest. Harry twisted his shower bladder off. He walked up so confident and...naked.   
"Jesse, tell me if I'm over stepping the line, or completely wrong but..." he reached out and ran his thumb over my nipple. I froze, he thought he was touching a boy, or at least I hoped he did. "... I think you and I are quite similar, maybe..." he drew his finger up to my chin to make me look at him, "more than you think?"   
I trembled, physically we did actually look quite similar, my chest looked more like pecks than breasts, we both had six packs, it also looked like Harry liked boys.   
"But, you like the nurses, girls?" I said stammering.   
"I can like both," Harry said and pecked my forehead. My breathing was out of control, I didn't know if I was hyperventilating or suffocating.   
"I don't...I'm not..." I couldn't tell him I was a girl, but I guess it didn't matter if he thought I was a boy. It wasn't like he was like Niall who only liked boys. Harry liked both, apparently.   
"Is this okay?" He asked in his British accent, pulling my hands away from me. I trembled but nodded. He placed my hands on his stomach and smiled.   
"You can touch, love," he whispered, his own huge hands running over my chest and back before he brought his lips to mine. I couldn't help but notice how huge he was down stairs when he pressed up against me.   
The kiss was nice, I was terribly distracted though. Conflict ravaged my mind over not telling him I was a girl. Until I felt his hand moving below my stomach.   
I shoved him back. He looked very confused.   
"Sorry, sorry," I said, flustered.   
Harry smiled, "It's fine love, sorry for pushing you...um...too far,  are you okay?"   
I nodded, "yes, fine, I just...I don't know."   
"Don't worry about it," he smiled, "We're good, yeah?"   
"Yeah, the.. um... the kissing was nice," I said sheepishly.   
"It was," he agreed, he moved back to his own shower bladder and continued to wash himself. Harry kept throwing glances my way. I tried to just ignore him.   
"Did something happen between you and Niall?" He asked after a while of silence when I was ringing off.   
"No, I don't know what his problem with me is," I told him honestly.   
"He said you hated him, but he didn't know why," Harry divelged.   
"I don't hate him, he's the one who has a problem with me," I told him.  
"You are both so similar, it's a shame you don't get on," Harry said offhandedly.   
"I'm nothing like him, the only thing we have in common is our size," I defended. I slipped my shirt on before swapping my wet pants for dry clean ones. The too-big shirt covered everything.   
"I think you are, you're both very passionate about your horses, you both care a lot, you both get very...defensive," Harry reasoned.   
"Maybe that's the problem, we're too similar," I said, gathering my things, "We both have a temper too...Don't be surprised if one of us doesn't survive the night." I left as Harry chuckled at me. It had suddenly dawned on me that Harry and I kissing would have no impact on Harry's intentions for his night with the nurses. Niall and I would have to listen to him and Liam with the array of girls they would no doubt pull.   
Tonight was not going to be enjoyable. 

 

Niall and I sat huddled together in the scrub not close enough to the tents for anyone to see us but close enough to hear everything that was going on. Harry was behind the tent kissing the nurse I had said thanks to this morning. His hands were well an truly up her skirt and she was making embarrassingly loud whimpers. He was not concerned at all that Niall and I were nearby.  
Liam had some other girl in the tent, they had been in there a long time. I couldn't understand why it all took so long.   
"What could they possibly be doing that makes the girls so....loud?" I asked Niall who had ignored me for most of the evening as he cleaned his gun and boots.   
"What?" He looked up, surprised I was talking to him.   
"Never mind," I said, figuring I was just annoying Niall again. It seemed to be a talent of mine.   
"Surely you'd know better than me," he said softly.   
"Why?" I asked.  
"You're a girl, you're pretty, you would have had boys all over you at home," he said. I couldn't hear any venom in his voice. He seemed genuine, but I didn't know how to take in what he had said.   
"I've never kissed a boy until today," I told him, "No boy ever looked at me, I'm too...boney."   
"Who did you kiss?" Niall asked, putting down his rifle and turning to face me.   
"I...I don't think I should say," I stammered.   
"Did they know you are a girl?" He pressed.  
"No, he doesn't," I said.  
"So he's gay, you tricked him?" Niall said.  
"No! He..he likes girls too! I mean, it seems that way..." I said nodding to Harry.   
"Harry?! Harry kissed you!?"Niall said and I slapped my hand over his mouth.   
"Shhh, keep your voice down!" I scolded.  
"He's gorgeous, I guess I'd let him kiss me under false pretences too," Niall admitted.   
"It's not a false pretence," I said, "I mean, I was in the shower, it's not my fault he assumed I just work out."   
"He didn't suspect anything?" Niall asked.   
"I don't think so, I mean, you and I probably look pretty similar until you get below the hips." I said.   
"I don't have tits!" Niall grumbled.   
"I didn't say you did, I don't have much there either," I said, "Actually...could you do me a favour?"  
"What is it?" He asked sceptically.   
"It would be a lot easier if I could shower with everyone else, especially when we move to Egypt and have the open shower," I started, "Can you tell me if I could pass off as a guy?"  
"How would I do that?" He asked.  
I sighed, unbuttoning my shirt and slipping off the white singlet beneath.   
"Could I pass as a boy?" I asked him.   
"I...um, will you be offended if I said yes?" He said hesitantly.   
"No, I already know I'm not...womanly," I said.   
"You do just look like you work out," Niall said, I couldn't help but notice his cheeks flush.   
"Do I make a good looking boy?" I teased. Niall threw my shirt at me, but didn't answer.   
I got dressed again.   
"You'll be fine to shower with the others if you keep your underpants on, a lot of the guys do that anyway so it wouldn't be strange." He told me.   
"Do you?" I asked.   
"Well I will be now if you're in there," he joked. His laugh made me smile. Niall had not joked with me since we were in training. I didn't realise I missed having him as a friend.  
"Why did you stop talking to me?" I asked. He looked at me surprised but then seemed to change his resolve.  
"I...don't know," he said but I knew it was a lie. He sighed, "You took Liam from me. And you actually have a chance with him, while I... don't."   
"Oh," was all I said, staring back at the tent. Harry now had his head under the girls skirt, her head thrown back in the dirt.   
We sat in silence for what seemed like forever before Niall shifted closer, " I'm sorry I've been a dick. It wasn't your fault and you haven't deserved it."   
"I don't think I actually have a chance with Liam," I told him, "and even if I did I wouldn't be like those girls."   
Niall nodded.  
"Can we start over?", he asked.   
I nodded, leaning my head on his shoulder as he looped an arm behind my back.


End file.
